Posts in: dad jokes

The kerning on the pope’s tomb is a travesty

It really is quietly beautiful. But atop that marble is a tomb inscribed with the name “Franciscus.” Or what—due to terrible spacing between letters, known as kerning—reads something more like “F R A NCIS VS.”

This is a grave matter.

This is firmly in my bullseye: esoteric liturgical nomenclature and a solid pun.

If only the thurifer was a member of a mendicant religious order. (Because if there’s smoke, there’s friar.)

Source: [bsky.app/profile/a...](https://bsky.app/profile/aodhbc.bsky.social/post/3lmdnsm3rbk2e&10;&10;A) thurible mistake&10;Sir, - Denis Staunton's account of Mass in Beijing's North Cathedral ("Is the Catholic Church bending its knee to China's communist party?", World, April 5th) includes a description of an altar server "swinging a thurifer as it pumped out thick gusts of incense".&10;I was under the impression that the container is a thurible which is carried by the thurifer, ie the person holding it. But maybe that's the way they do things in China. If so, it must make for a most entertaining celebration of the Eucharist! - Is mise,&10;JOHN KELLY,&10;Co Carlow.

Trolley Problem Variations For Dads

Dear McSweeney’s,

You’ve done it again. Thank you.

You’re on a trolley speeding towards a railway switch. Your father must decide whether to let the train hit the people on the track or switch to the alternate track with only one person on it. He responds, “Go ask your mother.”

If you make a carving of me, please use this pose. Thank you.

wooden sculpture by Henry Moore: reclining figure